Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Mama's Beaten Beatin' Heart ♥

Grandma's Acne Soap.  
Guaranteed to eliminate pimples and beat out blemishes. 
There's just one catch........the complexion will need to get worse before it gets better.  In order for the skin to empty itself of impurities and begin the healing and recovery process, it must first bring these imperfections to the surface to be exposed.

I discovered this week that the same is true for a Mama's heart. ♥  In order for the heart to heal, the tears must flow.......and that is OKAY.  I have discovered that in the midst of new beginnings and life's changes, that there is only ONE. TRUE. WAY. to a healed heart.....a heart that empties itself  - of self - allowing room for peace, joy, and yes........comfort.  

You see, this mama's beatin' heart has taken quite a beatin' this week.
On Sunday, we helped our son Thomas settle into his new beginning.  College.  Gulp.  How did this happen?  How did he get here?  How did WE get here?  I had been preparing myself for months.....or so I thought.  I had convinced myself that there would be no tears, and even if there were, certainly it would be but a few.....

"He's ready", I repeated to myself, and then repeated again.....and again. 

"He will be less than 2 hours away, we can see him anytime we'd like", I reasoned.  

"We're not sad, we're excited for him,  and so proud of this next big step", I reassured myself.....and everyone else.  

That is...........until it was time to say goodbye in the doorway of his small dorm room............

Beautiful memories of him flooded my beaten heart
Stinging salty tears flooded my swollen eyes.

I knew it was time to go, but as I held him in my arms.......I squeezed extra tight, as if to convince his heart, and mine, that we would both be ok.
We left. We left with the realization that "one of us" was missing.  "One of us" wasn't coming home tonight.  "One of us" was starting anew.
As we drove home, I began to pray and ask God to watch over Thomas in our absence........
and that is when I heard back from Him. 
The One. 
The ONLY One who could cure this beaten mama's beatin' heart...and here dear friends,
 is what He said........

"Tera, don't worry. He's MINE."

Without hesitation, the Spirit flooded my empty heart with the words I so desperately needed to hear.............

"Tera, I knew him before you did"
You made my whole being;
       you formed me in my mother's body.  ~ Psalm 139:13

"Tera, I have a plan for him"
I say this because I know what I am planning for you," says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

"Tera, I will never leave him"
"I will never leave you;
       I will never abandon you." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

"Tera, I will take care of him and provide for him"
 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Phillippians 4:19

"Tera, I am there to protect him"
When you call to me, I will answer you.
    I will be with you when you are in trouble.
    I will save you and honor you.  ~ Psalm 91:15

and "Tera, don't ever forget.... I LOVE Him. Always & Forever."
the Lord loves us very much,
       and his truth is everlasting.  ~ Psalm 117:2

And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age. ~ Matthew 28:20

The tears stopped flowing.  The heart started healing.  I gave thanks to God our Heavenly Father for entrusting three of his precious children to my care.  

And this morning....just two days after my beaten beatin' heart had whispered goodbye........God helped me to do it all over again......
This time, however; I took a deep breath, kissed the Cheerio cheeks of my youngest son, and said goodbye.  A few tears escaped my eyes, and that is OKAY.  Because you see fellow mamas, as I crawled into my car to drive away..........God spoke to me once again,

"Tera, don't worry. He's MINE......they ALL are." ♥

Embraced in His Grace,